Your dream-like Conan movie

Here is a question for you all : what would you want to see or not to see in a new Conan movie ? I mean, ideally, no matter who does it.

My bro' Einar already said he wouldn't want an origin story, and a scene with Conan's village sacked and his whole family murdered in front of his eyes.

Here are some of the things I would like to see, some o which may have already been used in the previous movies :

- Conan doing some infiltration and stealing something
- Conan becoming a pirate at the end of the first movie
- Conan being drunk
- Conan being deceived and not succeeding in everything he attempts (I like the theory of the " human " Conan as developped by Flaming Turd in some other thread)
- maybe some huge black or arabic friend warrior that goes along with him during a whole section of the movie
- why not 3-stories in 1, ala CASINO ROYALE and not just one adventure in one movie ?
- Conan could also be paired with some cerebral character, smarter than him and well-educated, more civilized
- Conan must be betrayed at some point
- Conan wounded
- some monsters & creatures to batlle with
- Conan exploring some torchlit ruins or cave

Things I would not want to see :

- Conan leading an army
- Conan for hire
- Conan training
- comical sidekick
- dwarf sidekick
- magical sword
- court and palace plotting ala STAR WARS Ep I, II, III
- Conan being proposed to be a king and refusing

That's it for the moment. maybe some more will come later on.

Your turn !

And don't crawl under a rock, express yourself !

I'd like to see something related to Howard's stories if possible

just a quick note... no sidekicks AT ALL! Companions: yes. Sidekicks:no.

For example,
companions: Subotai, zula, akiro, valeria, han solo, john rice davies in the first indi flick
Sidekicks: malak, jenna, shortround, wicket, karate kid from red sonja movie..

I have to get going but thats my basic request. No more "young kids" as accessories in movies!

Quote :

For example,
companions: Subotai, zula, akiro, valeria, han solo, john rice davies in the first indi flick
Sidekicks: malak, jenna, shortround, wicket, karate kid from red sonja movie..

How about Whiskers?! How do we get to Carnegie Hall?

Only two options I think are best to start the movie off with. One with Conan being a young warrior fresh outve Cimmeria in search of purpose and adventure on his life, and the other as an experienced warrior half dead on the battlefield.

Conan slaying all comers with his sword. I wouldnt mind Conan slaying them with any number of weapons actually. Keep the chest length hair. A big ass Billy F Gibbons style beard would be top notch. He would rule from his mountain lair, surrounded by naked wynches and trophies from his conquests. A pair of white tigers sit by his throne watching every move. An equally formidable foe would have to challenge him in the figurative arena. This could keep on going. Y'know, if they would just let this bunch write the script,they might actually have a script worth seeing.

Vanir1975 wrote:

. Keep the chest length hair.

Vanir1975 wrote:

.A big ass Billy F Gibbons style beard would be top notch. .

Vanir1975 wrote:

A pair of white tigers sit by his throne watching every move.

Sorry but the images that came to mind were scary...

In fact the real question is what is Conan for you ? The character created by Robert Howard, Milius' version, one of the several dozen version showed in comics, or you own mix of all this ?
Must we be true to Howard ? Completely, or just a little ? (errr yeah, let's keep the name and the muscles it will sell tickets !)

Aoster,

Thats comical man. I think what I had in mind was chest "length" hair, like Schwarzenneger wore in Conan, not really chest "covered" hair lol. I still stand by the beard because I just dont visualize a savage barbarian taking the time to have a clean shave every day. The tigers were more knawing on raw meat and guarding his throne, not dressing him(hahaha).Actually truth be told, I would take the professional wrestler Dave Batista, tell him to stop getting a hair cut or shave for about two years,apply some non stop weapons training and start knocking 'em down on film. Thats pretty good though. I got a great laugh out of that as I know that you did.

Hehe, yea, sorry....


Now at the moment, I feel only this guy can give the look and feel of conan on the screen without bringing a stereotypes, crowds, or bmovie baggage that wrestlers, body builders, or current action movie stars will bring...




here is your beard shot:

Long hair:


really, it will be a big loss if they cast someone else. This guy can act! He can do the whole deep thought look, anger, stoic, jolly, and determined. He could bulk up enough to be toned as conan "was". He could pull off the "panther" like agility of howards conan. And, he is the spitting image of frazetta's conan!

I think this actor Paul Sloan is the best candidate, he's the spitting image of Frazetta's CONAN(which I like more than a young Arnold). He's already in good shape, he'll just need more bulk..sojust give him one of those mysterious Hollywood 'get muscle quick diets'.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4282031360/nm0806002

However I dislike that page-boy hairdo given to him by Howard(just funny how Thulsa Doom ended up with it,lol).

But you want a more "handsome" and clone Arnold, then go with that Roland Kickinger or whatever his name is.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3044053504/nm0806002

I never heard of him, but he has a youthful look that might work as a son of conan look. Conan is suposed to be rough, harsh, and weathered at least in my mind. But, come on, we all know we're gonna get crap eitehr way... it is Hollywood after all....

The only way to get a truly authentic Howard/or Frazetta CONAN, you'll need make-up and prosthetic's.. as he's supposed to be a very naturally hideous looking man, combined with scare tissue and leathery brown skin caused by excessive sun exposure---that only got women because he let off some pheromones via his Cimmerian sweat...according to Howard women would milk his loins just for his god-like Cimmerian genes.

Probably have to facial morph Jack Palance, Chuck Bronson with Jack Dempsey and you'll get Howard's CONAN..just give them/it Hercules' body.

Cromulus The Destroyer wrote:

very naturally hideous looking..., combined with scare tissue and leathery brown skin caused by excessive sun exposure.

That describes quite a few women in hollywood... :D

Guys, my initial question was more about situations and scenes and stories plots you would like to see in the next Conan movie, more than casting the right guy for the main role.

Here is a new fresh idea : what about some long-forgotten family relative of Conan's showing up at some point in the story ? Some evil half-brother or sister, or cousin ?

Oh and another thing I do not want is a Red Sonja played by Rose McGowan cameo !!! Eeek ! No thank you.

***Just tell me if I sound too much like Dan, ok ?

Ok, I want CONAN on a armored tiger unicorn with a laser sword being seen galloping over these frog-like ape-men with ram's horns. I want Conan to battle a blue skinned Dr. Fu Manchu looking lemurian sorcerer played by Nicholas Cage, with maybe the Barbarian Bros getting impaled by Jessica Biel...maybe work in a "War of the Pecs" . I want all of this being seen against a Frazettian style background, all to be CGIed or maybe matte painted.


*Well more seriously,

I would like to see the movie start off with huge battle maybe taken place in Stygia, thousands laid decimated after the onslaught of some failed barbarian raid against the kingdom. We see a wounded a bloodied Conan crawling along the floor trying to escape these demonic warriors with their mutated jackels devouring the flesh of the mortally wounded and dead alike and the warriors crushing the heads of the dead, impaling and crucifying the wounded or prisoners. Conan manages to crawl to the edge of a hill which leads down to some channel or river(styx?)..he rolls himself down and then later on we see him awaken on board Belit's ship who nurses him back to health.

I would re-name Xaltotun as 'Xalthoth-Amon' .

AOster,

Javier Bardem is an interesting choice. Tell him to start 'roiding now and I believe he could pull it off.

Einardiño wrote:

***Just tell me if I sound too much like Dan, ok ?

Yes, you are (sorry Dan )


Is it to extravagant to dream about adaptations of Howard's short stories ?

Interesting thread, Einardiño

The thing I once imagined would be something never seen before. I liked the idea of showing Conan in a much more mysterious way, forget all about you think you already know -because that makes him to be less interesting-. He must have a menacing, dangerous, yet attractive and unique feel. The only way to obtaining that is givin g the character mystery and unpexplained holes about his past and identity.

I liked BEYOND THE BLACK RIVER, the way it was written with that young warrior being the main character and describing Conan through his eyes. This way, we share the mystery, fear and also admiration the young man has for Conan. We discover things about Conan same time the young man does. It works. I thought about a story like that for a movie -no, no, no, im' not talking about an annoying young teenie character as the main character, nooo, he would be a great character also, much younger than Conan, probably an erudite -poet, writtetr-phylospher- would be great, someone who writtes about Conan. This young erudite joined the army searching for adventures, and there he met Conan: a giant brute who almost never speaks, with long dark hair and beard -yeah, I love the idea of hom with beard because changes the image we have of him, also is more realistic, he doesn't give a fuck about his looking-. Also Conan has a lot of scars, and uses armors and protects his body. He has some kind of samurai relaxation, he is relaxed even in the middle of a massacre. People never knows how he will react -(that is essential)-. He is allways improvising, allways awaken. But he does very little. In fact, Conan is 90% of the time relaxed: watching, hearing, resting. He is presence, more than action. Not a word wasted, not a movement wasted.

Some kind of deep pain is suggested. Conan suffers a lot, in silence. But we are never told why. Maybe some lost love? Maybe some guilt, by some horrendous crime he commited being drunk? Maybe it's just he feels the horror of war? We never know, but the poet sees that, and tries to investigate more. Conan never answers.

Also, Conan would show some high sensitivities. To the young warrior poestry, for example. Or to beauty of some kind (dawns, landscapes, artworks), Conan would react in a way one would never expect from the killing machine everybody think he is. Maybe he could even cry, at some point of the movie. That, mixed with him turning absolutely psichopathich in the middle of a war. I imagine Conan ripping off the flesh of his enemies with his own teeth.


When Conan speaks, the audience must get something made of gold. Like, each time he speaks, he is revealing somehting about himself -(something the audience must be desiring)-. We never get the whole picture, but we get some sketches. Conan is highly intelligent, thought absolutely incult. He is also extremely strong, but has some incredible weakness -dunno what, maybe he is a serious alcoholic, that could be-. This weakness should be shown crude, not romantized. It's a real and big problem. Conan can never have friends because of that. We need a real dark side for the character. If not, he would be just a clean, neat and kid-friendly superhero. Fuck that.


I think a great storyline for the script would be the fight against Conan and his own Ego. Conan -ala Genghis Khan- is obssessed with success, wants to become King NOW. He is tired of being a nobody when it's clear he is superior to any living human in the earth. Though, he is aware of his dark side and knows that if he becomes king, he would probably destroy the entire civilization... We have an interesting "becoming Darth Vader" plot here, something Milius once said was interested in... Conan must find the way of understanding humilty and compassion, reason why he feels attracted to the young warrior poet... This movie would be the spiritual preparation Conan did before he could really become the King he would later be. I like to imagine a King Conan that is not only a Terminator, but one who also had the virtues of compassion, justice and intelligence. That needs a loss of ego. Some mix between the Dalai-Lama and a Samurai.

I also think Javier Bardem could do an excellent job there (i might be wrong). I would vote myself to play the woung warrior ( ) though I would need some hard time in the gym. I am already taking fencing classes, so that wouldn't be a problem. Also I need to hide the tattoo of my left arm but that wouldn't be a problem at all, it can be hide with clothes and even in this dream-like movie it can be removed with CGI.



Oh, one more thing I wanna see in a Conan movie:

BOOBS and ASSES. For god's sake. And a couple of hot sex scenes.



Also, I would like to see a really faithful adaptation of REH's stories. But do you know how I imagine it? In black and white, maybe mute, ala Murnau's NIBELUNGEN... With some Frazettian designs in armors, and composition... But that I think would be closer to REH's spirit than anything realistic... Well, dunno...

Chrysagon wrote:

Einardiño wrote:

***Just tell me if I sound too much like Dan, ok ?

Yes, you are

Ouch !

Flaming Turd, I like your vision. But maybe the biographer character following the hero is something we have already seen too much times in the past. For example, I recently saw the last entry in the Magnificent Seven movies, and there it was again, the biographer befriending with the main character of a few words (Lee Van Cleef in this case). Other examples that comes to my mind are Little Big Man and Unforgiven, again two western movies. I don't know.

But I definitely like the idea of some erudite and well-read companion being associated to Conan. I'm less interested into Conan " feeling attracted " to him. That sounds too gay friendly !

Another example would be Dragonheart, with the Pete Postlewaithe - spelling ? - character

Kull had the better origin, which was transplanted over to Conan by DeCamp and Stone/Milius.

They should get Alan Silvestri to score the movie.

Einardiño wrote:

I'm less interested into Conan " feeling attracted " to him. That sounds too gay friendly !

It depends on what kind of images YOU are seeing in YOUR mind as reading that, friend

Obviously I was talking about Conan, who never ever goes too close to anybody, this time he shows interest in this young soldier/poet. Conan is older enough to feel "father-like" desires, also he has seen and experienced a lot of horror and death though his life and he needs to recover some innocence and coolness, so this young dude would remind him that. He doesn't have to be concious about that, at all. No "BROW BACK CIMMERIAN MOUNTAIN" here at all, LOL.

By the way, have you seen that video in the youtube with Beastmaster and Conan having an affair? I think someone posted a link here some time ago.


----------------------------------------

By the way, I think you are probably right, the narrator thing could be too much used... Though the REH tale I was talking about, the young soldier is not really the narrator, is just the main character, you know, the character who the audience follows almost 90 % of the time. I know maybe you are thinking FUCK THAT!, we want a Conan movie, not a Young Soldier/poet movie... But if you read the story you will see what I mean, Conan is 90% of the time present, but sometimes Conan dissapears to kill some hidden enemies or to do some dirty job, and the audience (reader) get's alone with the young warrior, so we never know what Conan is really doing, we only feel the expectation and the mystery, and then we see the consecuences, what Conan has done (we see 3 killed picts in the floor). That works!

In the climax, the young warrior dies in a very brave way -he and a wild dog, they find, who belong to a massacred family-. Now the dog is a killer, and the young warrior and the animal die trying to defend some families. Then we move to Conan, who is trying to murder the shaman of the picts, and then we are allways with Conan now, we don't leave him for a second.

I allways thought it was a very good way of writting and telling the story, better than SEEING ALL and KNOWING ALL, that is simply boring.

My dream for a Conan movie:

I would like to see the movie open with "The Frost Giant's Daughter". After all, it is the story widely considered to be the first known tale of Conan in terms of Chronology. The movie only needs to follow Howard's original story, but it must include Heimdul, the two Frost Giants and an incredibly beautiful and (YES) stark-naked young girl as Atali. This would be a fairly short opening scene as the original story is pretty short, but as Conan regains consciousness and reallizes he still holds Atali's lone flimsy garment, symphonic music would rise, and the title and opening credits start to roll.

Perhaps after these opening scenes, there could be some narration, say from the "Nemedian Chronicles"? I don't think there needs to be any elaborate, detailed origin. Just pick up right at the end of The Frost Giant's Daughter and forge ahead.

I know it is probably impossible to make an entire movie based solely on Howard's original stories, but his Conan material would make excellent subplots for a larger, epic tale...say Conan's ascent from obscure barbarianism to conquering the Aquilonian throne by his own hands?

My first choice for a director would have to be Ridley Scott. Second might be Guillermo Del Toro, Third Christopher Nolan.

First choice for Conan...Javier Bardem (good choice Aoster, I suggested him a while back on Conan.com as well)...yeah, he might need to bulk up a little bit, but he is supposed to be around 6 feet tall and he was a professional soccer player before he pursued acting, so he's almost certainly got some athletic ability...I think he definitely looks the part, kind of like he has a vague ethnic origin. Broken nose-check, psycho-expression-check, rugged looks (not quite handsome, not quite ugly)-check. By the way, his voice is perfect (the way it was in "No Country for Old Men"). And he definitely has some skill playing a violent, psycopathic-type character . You know, the kind of guy who can go from zero to apeshit in a tenth of a second.

I think Monica Bellucci would make a great Belit, she's not one of those cookie-cutter, waifish, anorexic beanpole chicks that seem to be dominating the movie scenes these days.

Anyways, I think that would at least be a good start, gotta go now so I'm cutting this short...

My dream was to play CONAN(especially with Monica Bellucci as my co-star,lol):


Hey if Bardem can get Cruz, I can get Bellucci. But in reality, I'd rather play a bad guy.

Oooo, I want to second Frost Giants daughter... snow, hot babe, fighting... anything with snow and babes really...

Frost Giant Daughter is great for a short film, though for a long movie it would need a lot more plot and that would lack the short story as it is, I think. But in terms of a 15-20 minutes film, it's perfect from start to end.



About Bardem, honestly I don't think he's got any ethnic origin more than we all spanish have... And that, friend, is a lot of mixed shit First some neolithic descendants of cro-magnons, then celts, then greek, then phoenician, then roman, then germanic, then arabic, then gypsi, then french... We only need some grey alien blood -some I do think already have it -.

Bardem was born in the Canarias Islands, they have a different origin than the rest of the people from the peninsule, but only in prehistory, then we share the same blood. The prehistoric people from Canarias were a tribe of warriors called HONDEROS as they used the weapon known as "honda", you know, the thng that David used to kill Goliath:

http://www.aceros-de-hispania.com/image/iberian-falcata/iberian-weapons.jpeg

The guys were used by the roman empire as supporting army.

People from Canarias have a strong physical presence and usually a strong sensual personality. That's cause the weather there is almost like heaven, you know. Sweet weather all the year. These islands are really beautiful. The movie "one million years BC" with all these volcanic landscapes and so, was filmed there. A lot of other movies also. They have these amazing volcanic landscapes and then, forest of very surrealistic plants.

Bardem would be nice, imo. Also, his mother Pilar Bardem was lately involved in an amateurish "Sord and Sorcery" shortfilm about the asedium to a medieval city. She has a long acting career and is highly respected. She is gonna play a queen or something. The short movie, though amateurish, is gonna have the biggest budget ever in a spanish shortfilm. It's gonna have thousands of extras and set in a real medieval fortress.

I was in the casting to play one of the 2 main characters, a drunken rogue with a wound in the leg -(the other character is his friend, a buffed blacksmith)-. Hah, I came limping all the way to the flat were the casting was going to happen, to practice the limp. Then I enter in the room and I found the director, the typical D&D roleplayer, mids 20's, long dirty hair, glasses, and never had sex without paying karma. Shit, I thougth, I already hate this buddy hope he doesn't notice... The casting was like shit, the director didn't know what to ask, he simply said: "ok, do the thing"... I acted like a drunken limped medieval rogue with horrible lines, and one of the guys there who wasn't an actor gave me the replies... Crap. Then they asked me to try with another character, the blacksmith who becomes a warrior, no doubt inspired by Milius' "Conan the barbarian". I replied I didn't know shit about the character, so, what the fuck do you want me to do, exactly? The role-freak director answered: "Do like you are working in the blacksmith's and then, suddenly, you decide to become a warrior". LOL. I don't know if you can realize about how stupid indication for an actor that one was. I did my stupid thing, hitting an hypothethic sword in progress with an imaginary hammer, thinking about Conan's father all the time and then, do like i'm thinking: "Mmmmmh, fuck this, I really feel like slashing some ashes". Worst acting ever. Plus, I don't look like a fucking blacksmith at all. I can perfectly look like a drunken rogue fuck but I think a muscled dude like Cromulus is the looking. Shit, now that I think, Cromulus and me would have been the perfect cast

So, they didn't chose me for the part, and I know it's because the director felt I was judging and ridiculizing him in my mind ... or maybe it was simply because I did it like shit, which also is very possible Anyway, I lost my oportunity of being invloved in a "Sword & Sorcery" movie which was something i allways wanted, since of course our Milius' movie. Well, next time, maybe.


Totally unrelated, though I am going to share this... It's a shortfilm I actually did a year ago, or so. It's not bad, reason why I am showing it to you, guys, though I beg your perdon because the poor quality, also the amateurish tone but you know, no time for preparing and shit. It is an example of almost no budget at all but well... I wanna share it with you, it's been a long time here writting shit and still I haven't shown my fucking ugly face yet.

Please, choose the WATCH IT ON HIGH QUALITY option, below the screen, at right. It will improve the image, which isn't perfect at all...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5o1SivdQJM&feature=PlayList&p=11795A5FA030D029&index=9

Maybe you have already guessed, but I'm Mr. President's assistant, the asshole with the beard.